That particular day behind me sat an older Anglo girl who spoke closely into my fourth-grade ears, “You’re no good, you’re lazy, you’re a stupid Indian.” I heard these words repeated by her over and over again throughout the trip to my house. I did not know what I had done wrong. I did not know the girl. As a nine-year-old child, I did not know what to say in return to her, so I hung my head and clung to my books. I don’t know if the bus driver heard what she had been saying to me. I didn’t know if I should have even told the bus driver. Eventually and mercifully the bus arrived at my stop, and I quickly hurried off the bus, and ran up the driveway to my house crying all the way.

As a mother of five and grandmother of two today, I can look back at that incident and similar times I have experienced such behavior, and realize that I had been and continue to be a victim of racism. That day I reached out to my parents, and my father promptly called the principal and let him know what happened, and the girl was reprimanded for her behavior and never interacted with me again. I have had less successful attempts in dealing with racist behavior even within the last year when trying to act as my own advocate.  It takes a tremendous amount of courage to stand up for oneself as a Native woman who has experienced a life-time of racism.

In 2010, I was honored to attend two events and hear two elders speak on the impact of the Doctrine of Discovery. The first was at the January 2010 Province VIII “Pinecones to Pineapples” WinterTalk, held at the Episcopal parish of St. Matthew/San Mateo, Auburn, Wash., the first regional gathering of its kind. The Rev. Dr. Martin Brokenleg, keynote speaker, shared that “no Native person can exist without experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” due to ongoing racism perpetuated by the Doctrine of Discovery whereby Indigenous peoples were deemed “less than human” and could be enslaved or killed by colonizers, and their land taken. Another participant at that same event said, “The repudiation of the Doctrine of Discovery (by The Episcopal Church) is the beginning of respect to Native people.”

At a second gathering that year, I heard the Rt. Rev. Mark MacDonald, the National Indigenous Bishop for the Anglican Church in Canada (and former bishop for the Diocese of Alaska and for Navajoland) speak at the WinterTalk international gathering of Native clergy and lay ministry leaders hosted by the Poarch Creek Tribe in Alabama. Bishop MacDonald provided background on the Doctrine of Discovery that the edicts sanctioned that “a person who discovers an undiscovered land can own it, rule it and exploit it.” The First Peoples of the Americas were considered by the colonizers as “primitive” with no institutionalized organization, no ability to govern themselves, and that the judgment of their lives could be given to someone else.

Because of Creator bringing these two elders into my life, I have a better understanding of the origin of the sin of racism, and how the Doctrine of Discovery as a tool of racism continues to impact Native peoples and the larger society. I am honored to be selected to participate for the second year in a row at the Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) forum at the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women, and look forward to serving on the Anglican Council of Indigenous Women’s panel presentation “Exposing the Doctrine of Discovery, a Call to Healing and Hope.” As the Rev. Dr. Brokenleg said to our group in 2010, “If you do what you’ve always done, then you’ll get what you always got.”

Let us move forward as Christ calls us to love the Creator with all our heart, soul and mind, and to love each other as neighbors. If we see that God is in each of us, then to hurt another person, any part of Creation, the two-legged, the four-legged, the finned, the feathered, any being that moves upon the Earth, the land, the plants, the water, the air, is to hurt and disrespect the One who created all of us.

I see me, the little girl on the school bus, dazed and frozen, head down, listening to the cruel taunts of a person behind me, (who she herself must have learned such hate from those in her life), and I now can look back and see that Jesus sat beside me, holding me, and leading me to the day I shall share my story with many women from throughout the world for the greater good, for healing.

Elsie Dennis is an enrolled member of the Shuswap/Secwepemc First Nation, Enderby, British Columbia, Canada, and serves as Co-Chair of the First Nations Committee and is a member of the Dismantling Racism Training Team for the Episcopal Diocese of Olympia. She is also a member of the Executive Council Committee on Anti-Racism. She has served as the Public Information Services Manager for the Northwest Indian Fisheries Commission, Olympia, Wash., and on the Board of Trustees at Highline Community College, Des Moines, Wash. She lives in the Seattle area and is a parishioner at St. Matthew/San Mateo,  Auburn, Wash. 

I am also in a very different space emotionally from when I last attended the UNCSW. In 2010 I was not nearly as involved with the ACIW as I am now, and I was in attendance as part of the Young Adult Delegation. In fact, one of the things I am most excited about is that I was asked to go and speak with the Young Adults one of the nights I will be there. I am happy to be able to meet this group, and also just to connect with the group that was such a huge part of my previous experience.

I feel as if I am more ready for what is coming now than I was two years ago. Because I have attended before I am hoping that I will not be as overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the conference. I am also graduating with my undergraduate degree  in May, and so I am coming with more education and maybe more experience to bring to the conversations.

My prayers are for patience, for the ability to listen, and for the strength and determination to live in the moment, and not be distracted.

I believe that this year’s conference will be helpful and positive for me and for my people of the Powhatan Confederacy, in that through sharing and educating others about our current US Native situations (as we share and present during our panel presentations)we will become more enabled and enabling. In addition, on the subject/focus of the conference regarding rural women….I came from a rural reservation and believe I will glean wisdom to share greatly with my people as well as to be able to positively contribute at the conference as a ‘rural woman ‘from a rural setting.

I am excited about learning a great deal this year because I learned so much last year. I believe that the first time that you attend this conference it can be overwhelming.If I had not had an awesome room mate to come back to each evening and discuss things with, I am not sure that I would have been able to put things together as I eventually did. This provided a sounding board that I greatly needed because with so many parallel events and all of the amazing opportunities presented, on a daily basis, it is mind boggeling to the first time attendee.

What am I excited about learning this time around at the conference? Well, short of ‘everything’, I feel that I am the heart of my people and a representative of our Episcopal Native Women- therefore, it is incumbent upon me to be eyes, ears, and scribe so that, according to Saint Timothy 2:15, ” I might study to show myself approved, a workman that need not be ashamed, rightly dividing  the word of truth”.

I had to finish early because as much as I wish my school work would stop when I’m not there it doesn’t. So I had to come back to take a test and caressa’s lap top wasn’t working so I waited on denyse to show up to let me take my test.

This evening I tried getting myself out off blogging but sarah said I had to! I have made this a lot harder than it really is, but if theres a next time I’m not waiting several days to do this! Now since I’m done with blogging I’m gonna start on that paper.

After I looked at the craft show I went to a event that had a power point that I still have stuck in my head. It was the engendering technologies women take charge and it had pictures that I could go my whole life with out seeing. Then there was lady who said that she mainly only uses a home phone and shes not every big on technology. Yeah that is crazy but anyways there was another lady who said shes on her phone all day long.

After I got scared for life from those pictures I went to the ecumenical women debrief and dinner. At dinner they came around and laid topics on the tables for us to discuss. And ours was let justice flow and caressa started talking about stuff that happened in the news and how should it be handled. Then she had to get up and explain it and that was about it at the wonderful dinner on thursday night.

Then later that evening we met up at a young adults parents apartment so we could learn more about each other. And as everybody asked sarah and them questions I learned a lot about what sarah does and the others do. They have way to much to do for me to remember, but it was nice meeting the other young adults.

After I left there I enjoyed getting to know denyse and sarah better and there not what I thought. Denyse loves to sing and dance everywhere she goes. I can’t remember how many times she forgot her hat but other than that wednesday was a great day.

The girl scouts in the United States have so much potential to move young girls in the right direction. I remember being a girl scout from a daisy to a cadette, we sold cookies and traveled to different events, I remember one specifically held for science, we had a reservation troop and learned many things from the types of clouds to making huge bubbles and learning about how the weather station worked. I also remember a time where there were racial problems, our troop was a Native American girl scout troop coming from the reservation and this young white girl told us that we should go back to the reservation because that is where we belonged. We had to calm one of  our girls down because she was about ready to beat up the girl who said that. We ignored that statement and continued to enjoy the day but it did have a little damping on the day, but as I reflect on it now I think of how we were the only troop that had a different skin color. Later on, we held a Girl Scout event on our reservation inviting different troops from neighboring counties to come and be a part of our culture, through making arts and crafts, to learning how to round dance. The girl who spoke at the panel spoke of a program called the Girls who Rock the Capital where young girls would shadow a women legislature in the senate, getting the experience of what it takes. I think this would be a great opportunity for high school girls on reservations considering the Department of Interior and that reservations have their own government. We need strong leaders to take charge and to know our rights as first nation people!

I heard a disturbing story of widows in Nigeria, they were being treated inhumane, the widows female children were also maltreated. All because a husband had passed, this doesn’t make sence to me? I dont understand why anyone would treat any human in that way elder widow mothers to young widows regardless no one should go through this type of pain. Our nation is respectful to our women because women are creators, nuturers, we are a higher power to our children, our higher power is mother nature and we give thanks with prayer and traditions. I was very disturbed by the story, I will pray for those who suffered, and I give my support in the fight against this. It was a eye opener to the reality of mistreatment,  people still suffer in the world. The United States came a long way to equality, knowing the history of Native people I know our women  were raped and enslaved,  there are historical sites throughout the United States in rememberence to the massacres of our warriors. I know where I come from, what our nation fought for, how the reservations became reservations. I know the children were taken from their mothers and put into boarding schools, their hair cut and weren’t allowed to speak in their language. Today our nation needs political leaders, science, technology, engineers, and education and this starts with our children!

Denyse B

Today I attended two parallel events and these being my final parallel events of UNCSW, I tried to pick some that would try to send me in a new direction. Today I attended “Media’s Sexuall Objection of Women: A human rights violation” and also “Non-Communicable Diseases: A Neglected Dimension of Women’s Health and Development.” Jean Kilbourn gave a great presentation about how advertising affects overall health of a woman. From magazines, internet, television to cigarettes are all means of advertising to target women and girl starting at the age of even 6 months. At 6 months of infancy, an infant can recognize an advertizement,she stated. I was completely enlightened by this presentation. She opened my eyes to how observant the subconscience is even when you think that you really aren’t taking it all in. Advertising towards women is mostly subleminal. Sexual exploitation of the female body causes big sales. The influence to have bigger breasts, lighter skin, slimmer barely there waist lines is the ultimate fantasy for most men;therefore, promoting violence or anger or unrealistic ideaologies for men to hold against most women. And also, having women to try to live out these unrealistic and un-natural idealogies as well. The Communicable disease presentation was very important to me as well. I felt that it was awesome for them to actually talk about and bring for issues such as HPV, Cancer, and Diabetes to the table. These affect all women globally and due to health care existing or not existing in certain parts of the world not everyone has access to vaccines or medicine; therefore, women die everyday from diseases that could have been prevented or cured. I felt that this was an ultimate topic to discuss and I’m thankful that they did.

My overall experience:I am very thankful that I was given this chance to attend this year’s UNCSW. I learned about women from around the world and met tons of new people. I especially enjoyed meeting the Episcopal Young Adult group. They were all very welcoming and I thank them for allowing us to join them. I feel that I have many avenues to take now, I see in a new light, I know that as women, we must always support one another and be brave each and every day of our lives, so that the young may have the opportunities to succeed us and build a better and brighter future for all. Thanks again!

LOVE~FREEDOM~PEACE~STRENGTH~EQUALITY~EMPOWERMENT~JUSTICE~HEALTH~EDUCATION~GOOD FRYBREAD!

C. JAMES

This evening, we also attended the Ecumenical Women’s banquet. Each table was given a topic to discuss and our topic was “let justice flow.” I was asked to get up and speak about what our table’s thoughts were on this issue and a big topic that came to our minds was once again, justice for our people too. (Natives) After hearing the many stories from women from around the world, we all stopped and wondered about how our stories weren’t out there with the rest of the worlds. A lot of the abuse of what the women from Iraq, Pakistan, Africa (a few countries to name) endure, our Native women are going through daily too! And at that this is on US soil!!!! I feel that it’s time to get the Native American woman and girl child’s voice heard. All Natives. Natives and the rest of the world can be a driving force one day.